There is something soft and unexpected about Mondays, an option to pour out strength and song or live in indifference and a dismal sense of routine. Yet this Monday I felt God press on my heart, ‘have you surrendered to My ideals rather than seeking your own?’ I threw my usual plans aside (shopping, cleaning, going to the park with Ezekiel) and someone popped to mind – forego your plans, invite them to our home and bless them.
It got me thinking. Who is in control of my life? Is it me, or God? Too often our lives fit into a perfect shell of controlled, systematic processes; our daily routines- where we work, what we eat, how we spend our spare time, etc. – somehow we control most of it – when, where and how we want.
- How does the world influence my view of control?
- Am beginning my day with an attempt to cling to what will fulfil me rather than what is God’s will?
- Where else do I cling to control? Am I inhibiting joy in the process of controlling every aspect of my life?
friendship ft. two of my bridesmaids; taken by Mel Boulden.
As I was writing this afternoon, a phrase poured into my mind like honey – ‘delight, delight, delight in Christ’. When David says, in Psalm 37, ‘delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart’, is he perhaps inferring that Delight in God is the ultimate desire? Your desire and delight will be for Him and He will satisfy you completely. Surely this is an antidote to control – to delight in God, who created all things and holds eternity, time and all matter!
To utterly control every aspect of my life is to tighten my first around what I want my life to look like. If I softened my grip, perhaps I would be sensitive to touch, my hands open to receive.
A breeze moved through our room, blew light in at one end and out the other as if to declare hope, twisting the light to dance and flicker, making a shadow on the wall as though to remind me of delighting under the shadow of His Great Plan.
Is my grasp on life light enough that the Father’s hand can hold and touch my heart? Am I sensitive to His voice rather than bathed in my own ideas of what my simple life should look like?
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