What is stopping me from living passionately and fully? Often societal expectations or others’ perceptions of us block us from living with zest: We feel blocked from living joyfully because we place subconscious ideas about our habits or character. Do not be afraid to let go of those awkward expectations you’ve placed on yourself and have more fun! As I was home with my toddler all day earlier this week, life felt stagnant: I thought, I would love to do something that makes me feel alive again. Maybe I need to take more risks or travel more frequently! (I don’t have the spare cash or time to travel regularly, and my husband works as a teacher, so I had to put that one aside.) Here are seven tips you can do from home!
8 Ways to Feel Alive Again
Throw a party, write a letter or see a friend
- Focus on friends and family. Throw a dinner party on the weekend, see a friend, write a letter to someone you love. Focus on in-person relationships. A phone call can be a great option if the season of busyness doesn’t permit.
Take risks
- Take a risk! Do something you wouldn’t normally do. Usually into bland flavours? Go to a spicy Korean bbq restaurant. Book time to sky dive or snorkel or do something outside that you haven’t done before.
Find pleasure in the present
- Find pleasure in the present to feel alive again. What if you could choose if this moment was one of the best moments of your life? Truly, isn’t simply our lens in which we see the world the determining factor of whether the present is pleasurable or not? Of course, difficult situations and seasons may arise. And we must courageously move through them. However, the majority of life is mundane moments. Do you find pleasure in cooking dinner and smelling the fragrant aromas? Do you stop to feel the sun against your back? Do you find yourself smiling at a stranger as you walk past? Where could you be more present?
Appreciate nature
- Appreciate nature. Soak in the sight of green, bathe in the rippling of a stream or in the soft wind of spring. Did you know that being in a forest is good for your health?
Hide your phone
- Put your phone away. I cannot stress this enough; screen time increases stress. In fact, ‘Both acute stress (fight-or-flight) and chronic stress produce changes in brain chemistry and hormones that can increase irritability’ (Dunckley). Put your phone on airplane mode. My bedroom is a ‘phone-free’ zone. Instead, I keep my phone on charge in the laundry room, because it is the least appetising place for me to go on my phone. I try to keep my phone slightly out of reach. I also turned off all notifications and messages, so I can only see if I received messages once logging into my phone. If the matter is urgent, someone will call!
Do less so you have time for more fun!
- Do less. Cull unnecessary time on your phone, say ‘no’ to extra-curricular commitments and commit to only doing what brings purpose and joy into your life. There are seasons for ‘doing more’ (harvesting) and seasons for ‘resting’ (planting deep roots and habits). Acknowledge your capacity; figure out what times of the month you have the most energy (for me it’s the 2-3 weeks following menstruation!)
Breathe like a child
- Breathe deeply. How often do we shallow breathe? When I’m trying to encourage deep relaxation I relax my diaphragm and belly. Do you know ‘During stressful or intense emotional moments, children may not have the coping skills to calm themselves. Diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing, is a calming exercise that both children and parents can practice to relax and feel grounded‘ (PBS for more info).
Love more
- Love more. Is there anything more powerful than forgiving someone who has wronged you? Both you and the other person are released. Love is a powerful hormone that increases oxytocin, a feel good hormone that will help your mind, body and soul feel alive again. Oxytocin promotes relaxation, trust and overall mental stability. What increases oxytocin? Studies have noted that oxytocin levels rise after exercise. Music also has correlations with increasing oxytocin, especially when people sing in a group (reasons to worship at church!). As a side note: What is also so incredible? American scientists believe hearing your mother’s voice on the telephone has same stress-busting effect as a cuddle… cue oxytocin levels rising. Here’s a study to confirm that finding: ‘Maternal speech releases oxytocin in girls, in much the same way as direct interpersonal interaction including comforting touch’ (Seltzer et all, 2010).
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