I googled ‘how to be a housewife’ haphazardly, expecting an onslaught of articles to degrade the meaning of motherhood. I was somewhat surprised that the advice on ‘how to be a housewife’ felt very bland and straightforward. The first article was from Marriage.com and shared 10 tips –
“Food will fuel the family. Create a cleaning schedule. Keep on top of dirty clothes. Get a head start. Create a nighttime routine. Create a positive environment. Don’t forget why you’re here. Doll yourself up. Remember that there are two adults. Form a seperate identity.”
I felt underwhelmed and certainly not reassured me in my motherhood journey after reading the article. I often feel slightly exhausted by endless laundry, dirty nappies, meal preparation, and keeping the house in order. Being told ‘create a cleaning schedule and get on top of dirty clothes’. Thanks, clearly the laundry makes its appearance and demands being done. What about the lack of joy in my heart toward the laundry?
And when I’ve had a hard day with a cranky toddler, and making a meal is the last thing I feel like doing, how do I respond with love, and not a ‘forced’ love but a genuine care for my family?
It’s my desire to deeply love my children, my husband and my home: I desire to be the best mother; I desire for my children to eat well, dress properly, love those around them and enjoy their childhoods. I desire to have a creative pursuit while mothering… something I can squeeze in on the sidelines of my day (when I do have sidelines). However, does my heart have the capacity for all this giving? How do I give from a heart that is full?
Following an empty set of rules and comparing myself to others’ ways of living will not result in a happy relationship and loving children.
Create a positive environment, the website says. How do I set the tone for my soul and my home to thrive and not feel obligated by a sense of what’s right? I want my heart to want to love my family, not just doing what an instagram reel or mother with the ‘perfect children’ online does.
How can we flourish in our roles as stay-at-home mums? The first step…
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23
Guarding our hearts means being wise and discerning in our everyday lives.
When we believe (John 3.16), we receive the Holy Spirit and He guides and leads us if we choose to listen.
The springs of life are deep, beautiful and heaven-like:
Corinthians 12:13: “For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
- Guard your heart. Press into God; this could be as simple as kneeling at the foot of your bed and asking for His wisdom and love.
- Press into stillness and listen to God: He wants to speak to you. Often he will highlight something we need to let go of. Don’t be afraid to let go of something that even feels ‘good’ on a superficial level. (for an example, God told me to let my wedding photography business go as I entered the season of mothering).
- Choose to praise and play worship music instead of worrying about the state of your house. Consider inviting a friend over and having a cup of tea, sharing the struggles and joys of motherhood, or join a local mother’s group.
- Observe how you fill your spare time. Do you compare yourself to others on instagram or do you spend time in the Word of God? What books or articles or social media posts do you spend your time looking at? Where could you pull back and simplify what you are reading to focus on God’s word and on enjoying slow moments in life?
- Take some time to be refreshed. Are you easily affected by the emotions of your children (or toddlers, Lord help us!), swayed by their desires and weary as your patience is dwindling? Maybe it’s time for a break, consider asking your husband to watch your little one for the Saturday while you zip off in the car on your own and gather thoughts and have time to pray or do something that refreshes you.
How often the business and stresses of life cause us to stop listening to God, yet Christ still calls us to Himself. Never harshly or sternly, but with compassion and love, luring us to see Him on His throne. And if we pause and listen, peace fills our souls.
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